A letter to old men who care for the properties of buildings here in Korea
You’re doing it wrong.
When it snows you do not need to throw ice melt on the snow. That just makes the snow melt and then later create an icy death sheet.
Let me break it down for you:
- light fluffy snow = sweep it
- heavy thicker snow or an accumulation of fluff = shovel it
- Ice = ice melt spread in an EVEN FASHION all over the offending ice. Not in heaps at random intervals.
Okay. I think we have an understanding now. No need to thank me. I’m Canadian, snow is basically our only season. My parents also own a double lot so that’s a hell of a lot of shoveling I’ve done. I’m pro.
North Korea expert Aidan Foster-Carter turns his attention to South Korea and takes aim at the chairmen of Samsung, Hyundai Motor, SK Group and Hanhwa, all of whom have criminal records (tax evasion, embezzlement, assault, etc.). Foster-Carter:”In many if not most other countries, East or West,…
The holidays are officially over, which means the “seasonal” aisle at CVS has already been transformed into a veritable Valentine’s Day blood bath. I’m all for pink confetti nail polish and any excuse to send my loved ones heart-shaped envelopes covered in stickers, but while we’re on the topic, there are a few supposedly romantic gestures that give me a serious case of the full-body cringe. Just hearing about these heinous-yet-oh-so-common occurrences makes my heart vomit. Yes, the human heart can vomit. Here’s how:
Using My Full Name to Add Romantic Emphasis to Whatever You’re Telling Me
Not sure what I mean? It’s the simple difference between a boy saying, “I love you” (usually awesome, depending on the boy), and a boy declaring, “I love you, Sarah Heyward” (I literally get bad-chills just typing this). There’s also the in-between of “I love you, Sarah” which, to me, is still pretty terrible, but depends more on tone. My issue with this kind of full-name-declaration-of-love is that it seems to imply that whatever is being said is made more special by having my name attached to the end of it. Oh, so you weren’t talking to the squirrel outside my window or my elderly mailman. You said the name “Sarah Heyward”! By golly, that’s me! You love me! I think it’s patently ridiculous that adding someone’s name to the end of a sentence is supposed to make the sentiment any more personal. It actually feels less personal to me – like we are fulfilling some expectation taught to us by Kate Hudson movies and back issues of Cosmo. Think about the scene in American Pie when Tara Reid is about to lose her virginity but not before her boyfriend tells her, “I love you, Victoria.” This is a character we have known as VICKY throughout the movie. Suddenly she’s about to have sex so she must be called “Victoria”? So calling her by some weird formal name you’ve never used before makes your love seem more legitimate? Not a chance. This pet peeve is so pervasive in pop culture and I hate it so much that it’s gotten to the point where if my boyfriend calls me “Sarah” under any circumstance, I assume he’s really pissed at me.
Asking Me to Dance in an Unconventional Setting without Music
Another misguided attempt to be romantic for which we have to thank bad romantic comedies everywhere. You know how this goes – the guy and the girl are doing dishes in their kitchen, or standing on a mountaintop, or in the middle of a supermarket. Maybe they just had a fight or a particularly sweet moment together. The guy gives the girl a loving glance and whispers, “Dance with me.” The girl responds, “But there’s no music.” The guy presses a finger to her lips. “Just dance with me,” he says. And they dance. Wherever they are. With no music. But here is the thing! In movies, that’s exactly when they TURN THE DAMN ORCHESTRAL SCORE UP AT FULL VOLUME. So yes, we are aware that the characters supposedly aren’t hearing any music while they dance this beautiful dance together in the dog food aisle, but since we, the audience, are hearing music, it doesn’t look as weird. Well guess what, it’s weird! Have you ever tried slow dancing with no music? It’s just un-rhythmic, silent swaying, and it’s really not that fun. Once, to be funny, Chris and I tried to dance in a gazebo in the middle of a small town square in Mexico, and even doing it as a joke made me extremely uncomfortable.
Serenading Me in Public
Just don’t do it. I know, it’s a big scene in a lot of wonderful movies including Ten Things I Hate About You (RIP Heath). But in real life, it’s just embarrassing. You probably aren’t going to go to the trouble of figuring out how to get a microphone or set up the speaker system. You might break something or hurt someone when you hop up on that table in the middle of the cafeteria. Chances are, you don’t know all the words. Maybe you have a terrible singing voice. And I know for a fact there won’t be a team of high schoolers accompanying you with a choreographed dance routine. But even if you do tie up all the loose ends and plan a really amazing serenade, it’s still a serenade. In public. And I am distinctly not interested.
Leading Me Anywhere with a Trail of Rose Petals
This one isn’t actually so bad on its own. I like roses a lot and harbor some serious Flower Fairy fantasies about living in a dewy garden grove somewhere. But because the rose petal has inarguably come to symbolize Valentine’s Day, marriage proposals, and general declarations of love, I’m over it. Does any girl in the world come home to an apartment in which candles and rose petals form an arrow leading to her bedroom and NOT know exactly what is about to happen? Actually, a really funny joke would be for a boyfriend to do that and have nothing waiting on the other end. That’s the kind of rose-petal use I could get behind. But doesn’t everyone recognize this as a cliche by now? Can’t we think of some other pretty thing to jazz up our marriage proposals? Personally, I’d follow a path made out of doughnut holes and call it the best night of my life.
Asking Permission to Ask Me to Marry You
I know a ton of people will disagree with me on this one, but I had to include it. To me, asking a parent’s permission before asking your significant other to marry you falls in the bad-romantic column. Obvious exception: when said parent is seriously old-fashioned or traditional or religious or actually has expressed that he or she wishes to be asked first. But even then, I’d probably argue back. Here’s my thinking: the decision to get married should (hopefully) be something the couple has been talking about for a long time before the proposal actually takes place. In my version of things, nobody should be totally surprised by the question (I know that people often are, but that doesn’t seem like the absolute smartest way to enter a lifelong commitment). So if those weeks, months, or years of discussion are preceding this wonderful, romantic moment, why does a parent even have to factor into it? Frankly, I’m excited for the day when I get to call everyone I’m related to and tell them the amazing news. It’s a little less exciting if Mom or Dad had to give permission first. I completely get that every family has their own traditions and values, and for some couples the whole getting-married thing has to follow a strict order of events. But to me, all decisions about the future should stem from the couple itself, and on a more general note, everyone should at least think for a minute before simply perpetuating these undeniably outdated conventions. Of course, when a gigantic dowry is involved…
Now that I’ve publicly declared myself a romance grinch, let me add that I’ve gotten down and dirty with the corniest of moments. The thing about cliches like the ones I mention is that they’re common for a reason: most people love them. And I’ll admit, there are at least a few romantic tropes I’d dismissed as silly until they happened to me. If you’ve ever sheepishly found yourself cuddling while watching a sunset, you know what I mean. Let the cringe wash over you and then let it go, like a rose petal on the wind.
I wish I lived bear you so I could help! But DEFINITELY SEND IT AS FRAGILE. My best friend loads PO trucks every night and they throw EVERYTHING unless it says fragile.
yikes! Okay~~ Fragile it is~~ I think what I may do is … force my ex to help me ;) I live kind of close to a post office so once I get it all packed in two boxes then on the Friday before I leave I can just load them into a cab and bam! Problem solved ^^
1. Canada is this fucking awesome… except our Government. Fuck that guy. and all the idiots who voted him in. And all the idiots who didn’t vote at all.
2. Sometimes when I’m drinking. Like really drunk. I just start telling everyone I AM Robyn ^^ This is an excellent way to weed out the clever ones. The clever ones will put together the name and the country and get HIMYM ~~
The only place I can go and have fun is the gym. Debating on going now (already went in the morning).
twice in one day! I’m so jealous! It is totally NOT in my budget but I think I’m going to join the yoga place on the next block. I’d rather join a gym but I think in my area it’s going to be creeper central [based on how many creepers are on the streets and how gyms seem to attract creepers]~~ I guess I could travel a bit to go to a good gym but… I don’t know where any good ones are :S I also don’t want to go too far from home or I might not go often …….. hmmm someone should be my gym buddy and then I’ll have no excuse!
I had to wait for my bed to dry last night so I ended up staying up until 1:30AM. [To find holes in an air mattress you get it wet with soapy water and the hole will make bubbles to show itself, then you need to mark the hole and wait for it to dry to patch it].
So I was fucking exhausted this morning. I grabbed a drowsy allergy pill and took it at work. Passed the fuck out on the couch in the EZ for two hours until a student came in >.< SO embarrassing! But the student is one of my very bright 2nd graders [well he’ll be 3rd grade now!! omg!] so he borrowed my phone to call his mom and watched some Buffy before going to get lunch and hit up his hagwon!
I just had a black tea latte and a chocolate muffin for lunch~~ Life is wonderful ^^ haha~~ I’m going to walk home since it’s so nice out today!! I cannot believe how early the sun is up already here! What a difference a little change in latitude makes!!
When I was first coming to Korea people were like, oh Korea isn’t that much south than Canada, but if you look at where Alberta is [one of the northern most cities with it’s population! Explaining it’s high crime rate possibly?] it’s like matching up with Russia~!!! I’m higher than even Japan, let alone Korea! so basically! YAY it’s warm and I had a chocolate muffin and a nap!
Woke up early. Got ready. Went to a university area and met with Hoju’s friend - and since we’re now Kakao Talk friends, I guess he’ll get his own nickname. Let’s go with…Key. So Hoju overslept and then missed his bus stop, the 바보. Key and I spent about an hour chatting in English and Korean. He…
awww pooey on boys with girlfriends that you click with!! You’re keeping your head though!!! That’s a bonus! And it seems like you’re able to still be friends so .. yay!! basically I’m just here to say YAY!!
Ummm so I’ve decided I WILL have a goodbye party. It will be February 24th [so I have a day of hangover getting over before my flight lol]
I think I’m going to invite people I know well to mine before hand for some chicken/pizza/plum soju/wine getting our makeup on pre-party and then after I either want to go to Ellui or Mass. I really really liked Mass when I went and I was unimpressed with Ellui the time I went [although they had an event on at the time so I’m sure that’s why it was sort of dead~~]. Still I think more people I know would like Mass better as they play more of a House/Electro mix and not straight up Trance. BUT Ellui has more than one room for music so if people don’t like one kind there is other kinds? Decisions decisions.
Also peoples that know me should add me on Fbook so it will be easier to plan the pre-party feasting event [<— love my creative titles for it ??] hehe~~
I’d absolutely love for pretty much anyone who lives in Korea to come to the Club to see me!! Even if we’ve never met! I want meet you guys! So come, bring your friends, and let’s have fun!! And if you ever come to Canada… hit me up and we’ll see what we can do with the limited drinking scene there !! [beer and beavers??]
I think I fixed the puncture wound in my mattress. Yes I sleep on an air mattress. Anyway… I think. I hope I fixed it!
I also just finished season 3 of Buffy. It’s so sad. Angel leaves. They graduate high school. Everything is changing. Reminds me of my life right now. I’m moving back home but… it’s not the home I left so I have no way of knowing what I’m in for.
I am ready to though. I just want a little time to ~ I don’t know maybe meditate on myself and my life? I don’t know if I’m describing that right. Just ~ I want to appreciate the good people in my life more, and worry less about the assholes. I dwell on things. Even now I can think about breaches of trust that happened some time ago and still feel upset. All I can think is: I trusted you!
I am better than I was. But I want to make a part-way-into-the-year resolution: Appreciate the good people. There are so many more good people now than there was before. I hope that I can stay in touch with some of the amazing people I’ve met here and we can still be friends from afar. I’d really like that.
I can’t wait to get back into touch with good people that I know from back home and make some new friends in Calgary.
In an ideal world, I wouldn’t need to rely on anyone. I wouldn’t need people and I wouldn’t feel … things. But I do need people and I do feel things so I should just embrace it haha~
And I sound very sappy because Buffy has put me in a mood. Another reason I like to watch in the spring. Helps me get some “spring cleaning” done. Out with the old and shitty and in with the new and shiny ~ And with that I’m going to listen to some sappy 90’s grunge music and make myself some lunch for tomorrow~