voyagebound replied to your post“As an intersectional feminist, I cannot stand Caitlin Moran. Her white privilege rhetoric has no place among intelligent women.”
read this on intersectional feminism:http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10572435/Intersectional-feminism.-What-the-hell-is-it-And-why-you-should-care.html
Oh I already know what that means. I just never heard of this Caitlin person before the post. I don’t google every quote I post because 99% of the time I am reblogging from my phone half asleep before bed.
As an intersectional feminist, I cannot stand Caitlin Moran. Her white privilege rhetoric has no place among intelligent women.
It is the first I’ve heard of her. I just thought it was kind of a funny quote when I came across it a while ago [I queue things for my blog so that if I get busy something is still going on~].
Anyway I can look into her more and to be perfectly honest I don’t even fully agree with the quote because I kind of think that if you’re not comfortable identifying as a feminist it’s your own loss. But no one should force you~ Everyone is responsible for their own education.
Does your bf have outbursts like this often? I say make him stay the night somewhere else so you can calm down and think. I think you’re right to not answer him right now. (Or at least just answer messages not calls). That’s unsettling even if he just swiped it off the wall. The anger behind it is what is concerning.
I’m just going to answer everyone with this one message here because it kind of sums up everyone’s messages into one.
Does he have outbursts often. Not really. When we fight, yes he gets angry. I also get angry. He told me that before everything that went down with his ex gf he was never an angry person and he could let things go easily. There is more to the anger but I’ll get to it later.
We live together so he can’t stay somewhere else. I slept pretty much all afternoon until around 11PM. Then it was off and on until he got back home. He had obviously rushed home without thinking of anything and he just opened my door stood in my door way and apologized and then sat there looking miserable.
To be honest, in anger, I have accidentally hurt someone before too. So I understand that sometimes you’re just angry and you think you’re just throwing that water bottle over there but your fucking aim is shit and you end up lobbing it at the other person. The ridiculous thing is that had I actually aimed for the person there is no way I would have hit them. Sometimes you just act out on some object and inadvertently hurt someone in the process. Sometimes you’re just clumsy and angry at the same time.
Basically I wanted to take down all the things I had printed/taken out of magazines on my wall. I was doing it as a way to distract myself from how upset I was feeling about our argument. He saw this and assumed that I would also be throwing away the photo his uncle and him picked out for me. I would NEVER do that. It’s not even really a photo it is really truly one of those wood block stamped painting things that is a big part of old timey Japanese art. It’s beautiful and I would never take it down or throw it away.
So he kind of swiped/threw the photo off the wall, into my face. It hurt so bad. At first I thought my eye was hurt too and I’m super sensitive about my eyes. So I was screaming/crying. I locked him out of my room and refused to listen to anything he had to say. I let him go to work and ignored his calls while I slept and thought over everything.
Sometimes you just need time to process. I imagined ending it and moving out and rebuilding again. I could do that. It wouldn’t even be that hard.
The more I thought about it and about what it meant and everything the more I realized that Shunya is so much like me. I really used to struggle with anger before too. I’ve noticed this similarity before and talked to him about it. That he should know that it’s okay if he can’t make everything perfect or that everyone wont like him all the time. He told me since his ex he has had a real problem with his anger. He also told me last night when we were talking that he has, in the past few months [basically since coming back from his visit to Japan], been having trouble with not being able to understand or control his emotions. He’ll wake up crying or suddenly feel angry or frustrated. It’s hard for him to explain it to me because of the language barrier. It sounds like to me that he is just anxious because of all the bullshit at his work. I can 100% relate to that because it was work and my disease that had me the most angry/frustrated/in need of help back in the day. I am going to look for a Japanese speaking counselor at one of the sliding fee scale clinics here. I talked to him and he does want to talk to someone. All of his friends have moved back to Japan so he’s only got co-workers left. He cannot talk to them honestly about how he feels. Like how Shogo isn’t as good as him and hasn’t been there as long as him but got a pay raise of 3 more dollars than him. I’d be pissed too. It’s like you put your blood, sweat and, tears into a business and they just piss on you. I also am better at now realizing that until I actually own the business I have no need to waste my energy getting angry when they do not run it well or treat people poorly. It’s harder for him though as he has to keep working there because of his visa so he can’t try to find a better working environment.
I know everyone is concerned because domestic abuse can start out this way. I just really don’t think that’s him. He honestly was ready to go jump in traffic he felt so bad when he came home. He probably risked getting yelled at a bunch of times to call me while he was at work and had our roommate Shogo check in on me and text him back that I was okay. I’m not innocent either in this. When we argue, if he’s not home, I have a tendency to decide that our shared memory stuff like photobooth stickers, are stupid because he doesn’t really like me so I’ll like throw them out or throw them back into his room. I don’t do that anymore but it has happened so I can kind of understand how he got to his idea but I would never ever do that with such a lovely gift. However he can’t know my mind.
If anyone, ANYONE, hurt me intentionally they would be gone from my life so fucking fast. I don’t know that many people here but I know enough good people that I could leave that instant and have somewhere to go. I mean my dad tried to punch me and that is pretty much the point I decided that I will never ever forgive him. He did a lot of shitty things the past few years but to try to physically hurt me, to physically intimidate me like he did is in my opinion the end of our relationship. I miss him but he is not my father anymore and I cannot imagine a future where he has picked himself up enough and made enough amends to warrant a reconnection. So I do have a pretty sound, if bruised and puffy and cut, head on my shoulders and I’m not going to get into anything crazy so you can all rest assured ^^
"There is no equality of opportunity in the U.S., nor anything remotely approaching it. Children’s outcomes are closely correlated with the incomes of their parents, more so in fact than almost every other similarly developed country. Year-to-year economic mobility is also very uncommon.
Since vigorously celebrating equal opportunity that does not actually exist has not managed to soothe the masses, a new tactic has evolved: dismissing the whole inequality discussion as an unfortunate bout of envy.”
“The words ‘I love you’ are an oath to conquer your fears, and make new memories each and everyday.
The words ‘I love you’ are a promise to cherish the present moment forever instead of worrying about the future.”—Joo Wan & Joo Yeon I Need Romance 3 (ep 16)
eunoiair said: OMG!!! The last happens to me! I look so bulky and big after working out. My legs look huge. If I put anything on high resistance it makes it worse :( But I think it will get better over time?
Yeah I don’t think it stays, just immediately after it seems swollen or some shit. Anyway it wont make me quit because I want muscles and it’s definitely not possible for my lazy ass to get anywhere near body builder muscles so I’m not really worried that I’ll be bulky it’s just an uncomfortable feeling.
Once you get this message you must give five random facts about yourself and then pass it onto your 10 favorite followers. \(^▽^)/
What! My facts are boring~~~ But you can have them anyway~
- I love sugar but I get SUPER HYPER [I may or may not have just finished eating a cookie that is bigger than my head just now and I may or may not be super fucking hyper right now SUPER!]. Shunya thinks it’s awesome and feeds me lots of candy ^^
- I don’t drink water or pretty much anything except tea. I only get water if I’m somewhere thirsty that doesn’t have tea. Sometimes as a treat I get bottled tea from Konbiniya [the Japanese convenience store in Vancouver].
- I have a weird red dot like a mole but it’s red and small and not a mole on my right upper boob area. You can see it when I wear tank tops or v-necks. I have no idea what it is and I’ve always had it because I remember wondering about it when I was a kid.
- Even though I almost never wear the colour or use it for anything I guess my favourite colour is pretty much green. I really enjoy red too but ~~ Green.
- I like working out but I feel kind of fat or bigger after?!? I dunno why but whichever muscles I seemed to have focused on [I actually tend to do entire body workouts because I don’t want to waste time] seems bigger after. I hate it. Especially thighs. It’s like my body is trying to convince me NOT to work out. I’m sure it’s in my brain but still. I swear~