“We kissed because we were starving for it.
We were so desperate with each other
that every time we went out,
at least one person would pull me
to the side
and ask if one of us was dying.
The answer, of course, was always yes.
We didn’t even know what to do
with our hands.
Sometimes, they’d wind up on my mouth, over your entire face,
trailing up and down your spine,
nails like rakes over angry red skin.
It couldn’t have been pretty,
and God, if you were watching,
you’re a pervert, but I’m also sorry.
We loved like we were trying to make up for lost time.
Every touch an apology,
an “I’m sorry I haven’t been with you everyday since elementary school.”
There was no way it wouldn’t end badly, so we stayed away from fire, because
we knew what it could do to
We spent an hour everyday in
separate parts of the apartment,
trying to remember how to measure
in feet and inches instead of
eyelashes and arms.
I could feel you in the kitchen.
I could feel how tense your muscles were, how tightly your jaw was clenched. Every length of you
was humming without me.
I knew you like the back of your hand. Every vein, every freckle.
That scar in-between your middle and ring finger from when you fell down
during a game of kickball.
It was all urgency. All fire-engine
We saw the smoke coming
from a mile away and kissed the treetops before
they coughed and writhed under the flames.
It was a beautiful forest.
Too beautiful to stay.
I will never forget the place
that I loved you,
even if it is raining ash.
I hear some of the trees
are still alive on the inside.”—Unknown (via mrsfscottfitzgerald)
“To the boy I used to love: I am adjusting to the spaces
you left behind, the emptiness that beats in me like the
muffled drone of catechisms or a Catholic’s last rites.
Your name tastes like the medicine I took as a child to
keep my lungs from filling with fluid. My knees are bruised
from all the praying I’ve been doing of late. Tell me, love, do
you miss me yet? You can’t be entered by another human
being without sustaining damage, you know. You taught me
that. Someday soon my answer to the question, “How are
you?” will be genuine. I’m good. I’m great. I’ve scrubbed my
skin raw. Your promises were weeds in my nail bed. 150 days,
I’m still picking at my cuticles like there’s some hidden treasure
I’m bound to find. I am changing the locks to my back door. My
front door is always open, but listen, you will have to knock. I
will not be home. Leave a note. Etch your calling card above
the threshold, scrawl your name along the doorframe. I’ve left
the lipstick out for you. I’ve found it works nearly as well as a
ballpoint pen. The last words you ever said to me: “Thank you.”
I’ve never been good at saying goodbye. This is the last poem
I’ll write about you.”—
Brianna Albers, “Poem for the Day I Deleted Him on Skype” (via cyberfake)
It’s been over a year. I cried a little last night about it. But not about it. I was talking with the new one regarding fears each of us has from our last relationships. Scars. We are being careful and talking lotssssss. So I feel optimistic ~
“I only like luxury fashion. You have to decide where you stand. I like well-made, authentic clothes, well-crafted tailoring. I also like the dream and fantasy of luxury, the exception and rarity of it. I have no interest at all in fast retail. It is ambiguous.”—Hedi Slimane (via blackistheonlycolor)
Now if only you could say luxury = well crafted. I ALWAYS check the material, fabrication and stitching. No matter what the price tag says. More $$ doesn’t guarantee quality ~ I think if you can find the shape, texture or colour that you like and looks good on you in a well made garment then the price doesn’t matter.
Why is it that male stars are always praised for not letting women distract them from their career… Like wtf. You can’t have a relationship and work at the same time? And then women are ALWAYS considered pathetic or desperate if single. No matter the career~
“i think i met all the
wrong men before
you and i think they
ruined me but i
think you’re really
handsome the way
a map is handsome,
with skin wide open
soaked in the whole
world’s ink.”—Safia Elhillo, “susie knuckles in love,” published in As Us (via absentions)
“Sophie, the girl, is given a spell and transformed into an old woman. It would be a lie to say that turning young again would mean living happily ever after. I didn’t want to say that. I didn’t want to make it seem like turning old was such a bad thing — the idea was that maybe she’ll have learned something by being old for a while, and, when she is actually old, make a better grandma. Anyway, as Sophie gets older, she gets more pep. And she says what’s on her mind. She is transformed from a shy, mousy little girl to a blunt, honest woman. It’s not a motif you see often, and, especially with an old woman taking up the whole screen, it’s a big theatrical risk. But it’s a delusion that being young means you’re happy.”—
Hayao Miyazaki, on what attracted him to Howl’s Moving Castle
The Auteur of Anime by Margaret Talbot: “The New Yorker” (January 17th, 2005)
I got everything figured out from that little tiff before~ Chalk it up to way less dating experience [serious relationships] than me. His friend honestly just wanted to help him explain the situation, which I was kind of misunderstanding.
So I’m … kind of, well not kind of, I AM dating this guy. It’s really new. As in … like a week, week and a half.
And this morning I woke up to a text that he would be going from work to a goodbye part at his friends house and would be staying there all night.
This is not the first time that he will have suddenly decided to stay out all night drinking. And I have mentioned that it bothers me. Normal people drink with their friends and then go home to sleep at some point. Right? Like why do you need to feel obligated to stay until like fucking 8 or 9 in the morning and then waste your only day off of the week sleeping the entire time.. I guess if you really want to it’s fine but then he seems to complain about how he is tired and how he wanted to go home but he didn’t want to leave if they didn’t go to bed. Like. Look words DO NOT MEAN ANYTHING. If you wanted to go back to your house and sleep. Then go. If you do not then don’t lie about it.
Also I was, I think understandably, annoyed that “his friend” just suddenly at 1 AM decided to have a goodbye party. Don’t you usually plan this shit beforehand? And who is this “friend” as I know almost all of his friends at this point and I don’t know anyone who is leaving. But mainly just that if it was really a goodbye party wouldn’t he have known about it before 1AM. And really if you were going to have a goodbye party wouldn’t you want to do it on the Saturday or hell even the Friday??
Then to top it off when I sent the message that I was pretty pissed off and it seems shady, he called with his friends on fucking speakerphone so they could get involved in it and start telling me how it’s not a big deal. FUCK OFF are you kidding me? So you have now embarassed me in front of your friends and made me out to be some sort of freak. Who the “friend” is was explained and okay I still think it’s weird that it just SUDDENLY happened that the party was then but whatever. I still don’t think most people need to stay out until forever drinking but again if you really like that then whatever.
Ugh I don’t know cause he is very very nice but this just really makes me feel like crap. It’s like he’s nice in private but the minute he leaves he’s a dick. I don’t need another BrY situation… :(
Would you guys be angry? especially if you were put on speakerphone? Like fights are kind of private am I right? I don’t know :(
what if u woke up tomorrow and it was the first day of seventh grade and everythings that happened since then was just a dream
i would take that opportunity to use everything i learned to fucking crush my enemies and get rid of all the toxic fucking people in my life and tell them to fuck off
they wouldn’t take me seriously because they’re middle schoolers but i would know
i would know
i’d invest money in facebook
I have probably given this more thought but yeah. What the middle person said. I would study harder in middle/high school and get tons of scholarships. I would get a technical diploma first such as a laboratory technician so I could more easily pay my way through my real degree. I would also yeah cut the bad people out more swiftly, waste zero time on people I don’t like or who don’t respect me and I would try to warn my mom about my dad. Although knowing how she was back then she wouldn’t believe me.